Pigeon-Holes
Have you ever been coerced by circumstances or people to define yourself in more definite terms than you were ready to? I have.
On the other hand, I have also been on the other side asking people to be ‘clear’, when they weren’t sure.
Society does not take kindly to ‘uncertainty’. Our communities expects and demands definitive precision. This way, life can be neatly clustered and filed accordingly. Thus we are carefully labelled, boxed, and pigeon-holed. And we are expected to act or behave according to the labels.
A heart full of colours collapsing the pigeon-holes
Nobody expects me to fit into the dress I wore as a five year old or a ten year old girl. Why am I expected to keep labels from the same era? As a young girl, I loved the colour green. Over time, I switched to light blue, then to baby pink. I played with yellow along the way. As the years string on, I have taken to deep shades of red, orange, pink, blue, and green.
Summation? I love colours. I am colourful at heart. I love the balancing effect of hot and cool colours, the enhancing effect of hot and hot colours, the calming effect of cool and cool, and the over-all blending that happens when different colours mix well. Such is the beauty of life. One colour, complementary or contrasting colours, can create the perfect picture.
What about Clarity?
Labels and pigeon-holes have their place. They are helpful for creating clarity. They make it possible to limit chaos and ambiguity. Limit, not eliminate. Clarity is good; clarity is important. Nonetheless, what constitutes clarity is specific to the individual. I am happy in loving many colours. I do not have to choose ‘a colour’. Labels do not have to be the be-all and end-all.
Self-Kindness
It is ok to be unsure sometimes. There would be no answers if there were no questions. It is all part of the process. I am learning to be kinder to myself. I am giving myself permission to grow, to change; to be unsure in the process if necessary, or clear if possible.
Every day is a discovery. I am learning more about my preferences. I know now, that I prefer versatile flexibility in some areas more than others. Some labels still work and will remain the same. Even so, I recognise that other labels and pigeon-holes that served me well in the past have outlived their usefulness.
How I got to this point
It was like wearing shoes that were too tight and uncomfortable. It kept pinching and hurting. I kept trying to find good reason why I had to wear them when I had other options. Eventually, it hurt so bad I had to re-examine my reasons for wearing something that simply did not fit.
My Five point Discovery
- Labels which were once useful but not anymore
- Label categories that are no longer valid
- Labels requiring renaming or reclassification
- Labels requiring expansion or narrowing
- Labels that are like core files and need to be carefully maintained in order not to ‘self-destruct’
Bottom line? I am unique and it is important that I stay true to myself by collapsing old labels and creating new relevant labels.
My Favourite Colour
No more force-fitting into boxes and labels. I refrain from defining today by yesterday’s labels and categories. I allow my life to evolve, and enjoy the medley as it plays out.
So, what’s my favourite colour? Well, that depends; the deeper, the better, the more exotic, the sweeter.
Augustina O. Oti-Twumasi is a communications strategist, and L&D practitioner. she loves to inspire change in herself and in others. She does this through her work as a Training and Workshop Facilitator, Learning and Development Consultant, Creative Writer, Life Coach, and Integrated Marketing Communications Strategist.
